I normally don’t post personal news but am making an exception this time to celebrate our younger son’s graduation from Harvard College with a cum laude in Mathematics & Computer Science. His twin is graduating from Ashoka University & heading off to Sciences Po, France’s premier University, for his Master’s.
Our eldest did his Master’s from Cambridge & is pursuing his Doctorate at Oxford University. All of them together have brought us the biggest joys of life, infinitely more than any accomplishments of ours.
We often get asked about our sons’ educational attainments and our secret sauce! So, my advice, for whatever it be worth, to all those who are bringing up their children right now:
a) In nuclear families today, with little or no parental support and with working couples, bringing up children is tough. Before you take the decision to go ahead, make sure that you are prepared to put in that extra effort. Remember, the children did not ask to be born, you got them into this world. Go all in as far as parenting is concerned, no half-measures here!
b) There is nothing that children want more than your time & love. That cannot be outsourced- you have to make sure that both of you or at least one of you, is always available with them spending quality moments. Even if you are the PM, as Jacinda Ardern said at the Harvard Commencement for the class of 2022, you can still take time off for your kids;
c) Don’t forget that children are extremely perceptive. They soak up the atmosphere and the habits of their parents imperceptibly but surely. Make sure, therefore, that you set the right example in terms of values, ethics & integrity. Walk the talk! ;
d) Irrespective of howsoever much you may have, make them appreciate the value of money and human dignity & labour. If they don’t value human effort and what it takes to put food on the table, they won’t ever value anything else in life.
Most importantly, teach them respect for women and how they enrich our life. As they grow older, talk to them about the importance of consent and respecting a woman’s choices. That will make them into fine, rounded individuals who will be an asset to society;
e) Teach them to be discerning and appreciate all points of view- encourage debate & discussion. Guide them gently but let them arrive at their own decisions. They should have the confidence that whatever the issue, their parents will always be there for them without being in any way judgemental;
f) Handle differences between you & your spouse separately, never in front of your children. They should always see their parents as a united, indivisible whole. Don’t try and score brownie points in front of your kids vis-a-vis your spouse or partner;
g) Be happy with your children’s choices- whether it be their choice of career, life partner or anything else. Remember, they are your children, not your clones.
Give them love, respect & confidence and it’s the best thing you would ever have done.
Happy Parenting!
Siddharth Sharma
Group Chief Sustainability Officer, Tata Sons
(the views and opinions expressed are those of the author in their personal capacity and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Tata Group.)
